Caity Tirakian Blog Post #5 "Free Range Helicopter"

PP #5

Caity Tirakian Period-1 

Title: Free Range Helicopter

Image source: www.parenting.blogs.nytimes.com 

According to the Developmental Psychology Department at Vanderbilt, there are four main styles of parenting: Neglectful, Authoritative, Permissive, and Authoritarian. Obviously there is no one clear formula that will work on every child but the most effective in raising normal children is the one that falls between the extremes which is Authoritative. 

Neglectful is one of the most ineffective and harmful parenting tactics. Neglectful parents fail to care for the child’s emotional and physical needs, they don’t seem to have an understanding of what’s going on in the child’s life (who/what their friends, teachers, or hobbies are), or leaving the child alone frequently. “Neglectful parenting is damaging to children, because they have no trust foundation with their parents from which to explore the world.” Additionally, children who have a negative or absent relationship with their parents may struggle to create meaningful relationships. 

Authoritative parenting is widely regarded as the most beneficial parenting style for both the parent and child. Authoritative parents “are easy to recognize, as they are marked by the high expectations that they have of their children, but temper these expectations with understanding a support for their children as well. This type of parenting creates the healthiest environment for a growing child, and helps to foster a productive relationship between parent and child.” Authoritative parents create structure for their children with reasonable schedules and expectations. They have a healthy communication system with their children where they try to understand the child’s perspective but still expect the child’s respect. This parenting style is a happy medium between strict and too easy going. 

Permissive parenting can also be known as indulgent parenting. “These parents are responsive but not demanding. These parents tend to be lenient while trying to avoid confrontation.” While these parents tend to be very nurturing and loving, few rules are set for their kids. This inconsistency and lack of discipline can lead to the child’s misunderstanding of societal norms and expectations. It was found that, “that teens with permissive parents are three times more likely to engage in heavy underage alcohol consumption.”  These children often find difficulty following the rules in a school or work environment because they aren’t used to them in family life. “It may seem as though this would be a child’s favorite parenting style as it provides a sense of freedom without consequences, however, children crave a sense of structure to make them feel safe and. It is important in a child’s development for there to be clear cut parental and child roles.” It is important for the permissive parent to begin to set boundaries and rules for their child, while still being responsive before it is too late.

Finally, there is Authoritarian parenting which is also known as “helicopter parenting” or a parent who takes an “overprotective or excessive interest in the life of their child or children.” These parents are typically strict with high standards and even when those expectations are met is the parent satisfied with the result. They “usually rely on punishment to demand obedience or teach a lesson.” While it is important to have structure in a child’s life and show interest in their activities and academics, this “support” can easily become overdone into obsession. This opposite end of the extremes can also lead to negative outcomes. “Children of authoritarian parents are prone to having low self-esteem, being fearful or shy, associating obedience with love, having difficulty in social situations, and possibly misbehaving when outside of parental care.”

All in all, there are several different extremes and happy mediums aside from helicopter parenting. In order for your child to have the highest likelihood of a positive self-esteem but still successful social and academic skills, the best style of parenting is Authoritative which has strong expectations for their child but it is pairing with understanding and respect for their child. This healthy combination helps aid the raising of well-rounded kids.