Caity Tirakian Blog Post #2 "Roots to the Family Tree"

PP#2 Caity Tirakian Period-1

Title: Roots To The Family Tree 

Where does vicarious parental involvement come from, why do parents feel the need to fulfill their lives through their children’s? The reasoning is all different but in every case it is essentially the parents putting too much pressure on the children because they are placing their own desires over those of their children in order to receive satisfaction and perfection. There are three main causes for this type of parental behavior. The first is that parents had dreams as children but never got to accomplish them when they were younger, so they forced them upon their own children.  The parents have hidden desires and impulses, but acting on them wasn’t acceptable growing up. The second cause of inappropriate parental choices is that parents want the benefits of their children’s success. Many parents want their children to succeed in order to benefit the parent’s own self-esteem. According to the psychologist Jim Taylor, in his book “Positive Pushing: How to Raise a Successful and Happy Child.” “If you don’t gain sufficient meaning and satisfaction from your own life and look to their sport involvement as the primary source of ego-gratification, your self-esteem becomes dependent on how your children perform in their sport.” Some people want their children to succeed so that they will gain money, fame, or the satisfaction of success and that’s because, “sports are seductive. Fame and fortune resulting from athletic success appear to be waiting for your children if only they have the talent and determination to reach that level.” But that “You shouldn’t expect a financial return on your investment from your children’s athletic lives.”  A final cause of parents living vicariously through their kids is that parents think that their kids are required to be perfect in order to succeed in life. Parents need to realize that while their children may succeed they can’t always be perfect. Kids think they’re required to be perfect, and parents may be overestimating their child’s capabilities.

Future Research Question: How does living vicariously through your children impact the parent and child?

Source Image- www.dailymail.com