Caity Tirakian Blog Post #4 "How to Stop Whatever the Heli is Going On."

PP#4 

Caity Tirakian Period-1

Title: How to Stop Whatever the Heli is Going On. 

Image Source: http://yowpyowp.blogspot.com/2012/12/snooper-and-blabber-scoop-snoop.html

As we’ve learned, helicopter parenting is an overbearing parenting style in which the parent becomes obsessed with the child’s activities or academics and often lives vicariously through them in order to obtain a sense of authority and perfection. This type of parenting is predominantly negative for both the child and the parent and must be prevented or stopped in order to better the child’s future. In Deborah Skolnik’s article, “How to Stop Helicopter Parenting,” she explores different ways in which helicopter parents can ease off of their intense parenting habits. She begins with why this hands on parenting has spiked recently and claims “You can go online and find out every scary thing that could happen to your child. You can also investigate every illness. So there's endless opportunity for fear. At the same time, ‘the rules for setting your little one on the path to lifelong success have become murkier than ever’, adds Margaret Nelson, a professor of sociology at Middlebury College, in Vermont, and author of Parenting Out of Control: Anxious Parents in Uncertain Times. ‘Even if you've managed to be financially comfortable and happy, you're aware your child may not be able to duplicate what you've accomplished, even if he does exactly what you did,’ she explains. ‘So you ask yourself ‘What should I provide him with?’ Without an answer, you start trying to provide absolutely everything you possibly can, including too much help.” These nervous parents need to stop exhausting themselves while impeding on their children’s development. One way Skolnik recommends this is to be a “submarine” parent instead. This means that instead of hovering, you “stay close by—in case of real danger—but mostly out of sight, so he gets out of the habit of running to you for every problem.” Another tip is to ask what your child does when you aren’t present. If your child can tie his shoes alone at school but makes you do it when you’re around, then you need to back off on the assistance there. Perhaps you can make incentives for your children using the idea of a token economy. She recommends making a chart with various chores and the child getting stickers when they can complete said tasks on their own, “Practice some basic playground skills with your child... Show him how to kick a ball, climb on the mini-monkey bars, or even just go down the slide. If you see he can do these things safely, you'll feel more comfortable sitting back on the bench during his next park playdate”, count to ten before taking action. This means that when your child begs for your attention (as long as they aren’t in danger), to wait 10 seconds before taking action. In that time, you may realize it’s not really necessary to rush to the rescue after all. Finally my personal favorite, “Sit down and have a cup of coffee. Make a brief time every day when your butt's in a chair and your metaphorical copter is on the landing pad, too. “If your child calls for you and it isn't an emergency, say ‘I am drinking coffee right now,’” advises Caine. “If he really needs you, he'll come to you, and if you do this enough, he may stop asking for help with every little thing so often.” This is the epitome of the point I’m trying to make. Parenting is a 24/7 hour job but it shouldn’t be made more draining than it needs to be. It’s okay to sit back and relax every once in a while which in turn, will actually be a benefit to your child as well. 

Further Research Question: How does this type of parenting compare to other kinds? Is there one kind that is the best?